The only person I know in my family who does genealogical work is my second cousin on my mom's side. She has been researching my mom's side of the family for a really long time. From what I recall, she has been doing research off and on since she was in college. I honestly don't know of anyone else in my family who has taken the time to actually do the research and write something up. However, my best friend's mom also got really into genealogical research and spent a few years doing it. She even traveled all the way to Colorado to meet with detached family members.
So, the men have been fairly well shut out of the process.
However, this does not mean that the men are absent from my family traditions.
My dad is huge on traditional things, particularly around the holidays. He has been the one to cling onto such old school Miller family traditions as trimming the tree a certain way, having a fire going on Christmas morning, and cooking an elaborate meal (Usually to a ridiculous amount of personal scrutiny). This has actually been the first year that I can remember that we didn't have a special day set aside for getting together with family on Christmas. It has been a rough year for the other members of my immediate family, so the traditions had to fall a bit short.
Based on these recalled memories, I would say that there definately is a bit of a gender slant on preserving family. The males in my family are far more into preserving the here and now. They like to hang on to the various stories, things we do outside, and traditional things and places to cook. The females seem more concerned with family stuff that has happened in the past. I believe a lot of this has to do with the fact that the females in my family are having to deal with family members leaving home. I feel this makes them more sentimental about figuring out where they came from. I just have a feeling that men tend to see preserving traditions as more practical, and therefore care more about keeping them intact. Females tend to start wondering about their family at a certain age, particularly when life starts changing a lot (i.e. children leaving for school, parents beginning to die, etc)
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ReplyDeleteI think for our family your observation is correct. But not so sure that applies to all families. The older I become, the more family (extended)seems to be important, or worth holding onto. Unfortunatly, I'm not the only one getting older and family does fall away. So I try to replace what I've lost, or never found with other people whom it seems always need something. But there is comfort in immediate family and knowing that no matter how far, or seldom ones are seen, that there is a connection that goes beyond wondering and is of a more primal emotional connection.
ReplyDeleteone more. Grandpa Kane was into the whole family history thing. would pull out the photo album and tell me time and time again about who people were, how related etc. unfortunatly, i was under 10 and the info seemed fairly boring at that point in my life. except for the show girl with the hair down to the floor. cool picture circa early 1900's.
ReplyDeleteso i've already asked you the question i was going to post to your blog (because you're standing right next to me). but i do find it interesting that the men in your family "have been fairly well shut out of the process" in the sense that they are more interested in what is going on now, rather than what has happened in the past. i wonder if this might mean anything for your project? might this view within your family affect the perceptions of the car accident you'll write about?
ReplyDeleteOk, Alex. Sounds like (with your mom's (?) addition, the count is 2 women and 1 man, but your dad cares about traditions for holidays and foods. Thanks!
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